Confidently requesting vs apologising
Have you ever noticed yourself apologising when asking for your needs?
11 August 2020, Andrea Weber, Expansive Happiness
It can be surprising how often this actually happens. You may notice yourself apologising in this way or others doing the same.
When we add an apology to a request, we put a negative framework around our needs with the expectation that others will not be accepting of what we have to say and judge us because of it.
Apologising suggests that we have wronged someone in some way and are regretful of our behaviour so this really doesn’t fit if we are simply asking for our needs to be considered.
Someone who has to be mindful of their lower back would not apologise for using a trolley or having to ask for help when lifting. Someone with food sensitivities would not apologise when ordering from the gluten free menu. Someone with sensitivity to outdoor light would not apologise for needing to wear glare reduction glasses?
So how are these scenarios any different from someone needing to ask for a wired connection if they have electromagnetic sensitivity or a fragrance free solution if they have chemical sensitivity?
The availability of accessible options possibly holds an answer. If there are more options available, people tend to apologise less and if there are less options available, people will apologise more often.
Why else do we find ourselves apologising? Do we see ourselves as an inconvenience to others? Are we wondering if we will get the support and understanding that we need?
Are we really asking, “Am I worthy of being considered?”
This, in itself, is a huge question and one definitely worth exploring if we’re open to the possibility of additional learning. There are many teachings within this single query.
While we would all love to heal our sensitivities to the point where we no longer have to make such requests, we certainly need to do this throughout the various stages of healing.
For the body to build the strength and resilience that’s required, we cannot keep compromising our system with an overload of symptoms as this leads to further stress and depletion.
Confidently requesting our needs without the addition of an apology is not only empowering, it’s also very necessary if some of the misguided perceptions around these conditions are to change.
The more awareness, the more options and alternatives become available and life becomes easier and more fulfilling.
Confidently requesting also normalises the condition and helps to create understanding and acceptance.
Some proactive businesses are already recognising the needs of people managing sensory processing sensitivity and this has only been made possible through increased awareness, knowledge and organisations working together to find solutions.
Multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) is now more widely recognised and more options are gradually becoming available to meet these needs.
It’s only a matter of time before other sensitivities are increasingly acknowledged.
