Balancing Discernment
As a highly sensitive person, I know all too well the importance of being discerning in what I’m saying “Yes” to in terms of energy.
There’s often an ingrained conditioning to go along with what others are wanting or what is felt to be needed to keep things going at the time. A decent dose of people pleasing is difficult to discard!
I don’t know how many times I’ve found myself torn between really wanting to help someone or be a part of something but instinctively knowing that it may not be the best decision in terms of my own use of energy or wellbeing.
Making these decisions can be a tough gig. No-one likes the feeling of letting someone down. It’s like an inescapable nauseousness that we’ve infinitely done something wrong.
The irony of these scenarios is that we often let ourselves down as a result of ignoring our own needs in the process. There has to be a balance and that balance has to work.
Since understanding a whole lot more about sensitivity, what I’m often observing is an imbalance in how needs are managed. We’re either putting our time and energy into pleasing others at the expense of our own needs or we’re putting our own needs that far ahead that we’ve somehow forgotten about everybody else. Somewhere along the way there has to be a happy medium.
While we can get into the habit of saying “Yes” too often we can also get into the habit of saying “No” all too often as well, especially if we’re already feeling tired and drained. I witnessed this first-hand the other day with someone very dear to me personally which is probably why it made such an impression.
My Mum had been putting off making a phone call due to any number of reasons, including the fact that hearing was becoming more challenging and therefore more energy was needed for being on the phone. I felt like a bit of a bossy boots getting the chair as comfy as possible and literally dialling the number before handing it over.
Victoriously walking away, I smiled at the laughter and cheer that followed. The change in energy was palpable and even though some of the conversation had been missed, the interaction had brought so much joy and uplift that I returned to see my mother looking visibly radiant and ten years younger!
Sometimes we do need a little encouragement to get out of our comfort zones and we do need to gently push ourselves even though we may not feel like it at the time.
What was experienced here is a perfect example of how ushering in some much needed “fresh energy” does wonders for the heart and soul. I can say from personal experience that when the ego steps aside and stops sulking or complaining, our logical brain easily sees the benefits.
Being discerning is an essential part of wellbeing, helping to keep our energy safe, supported and nurtured but it doesn’t have to stifle our happiness or keep us in a state of staleness.
If we’re building a balanced approach, we’re looking after our own needs as well as the needs of those around us. What we’re ultimately creating is interconnections that allow potential to flourish and this has to have a lasting and positive impact.
19 June 2025, Andrea Weber, Expansive Happiness®
Image by Jay Castor, Unsplash. Thank you for sharing your creativity.