The importance of feedback
Written by Andrea Weber, 29 July 2026
I’ve recently been reminded of something I was told during my first year of university, the wisdom of which had remained silent for a very long time.
I was fresh out of school, knew nothing of the big wide world around me and was totally focused on getting good grades for my first round of assessments. Back then, the closest thing to a PowerPoint Presentation were handwritten projector slides and I didn’t even have these! Instead, I had crafted some carefully considered, colourful and complementary ‘props’ and posters.
Heavily influenced by perfectionist tendencies, like everything I turned my hand to at the time, I had practiced to the enth degree and expected nothing less than top marks for a stellar performance.
Critiques were given in front of the class so everyone could benefit from feedback being given so when my somewhat less than shimmering review was shared with the group, I was less than impressed to say the least!
Rather than accepting what the lecturer had to say, being curious and asking productive questions, in the wisdom of all of my experience to that particular point in time, I decided to argue my position instead!
While my self-righteous denial was met with calm reassurance and counsel, I was quite devastated by what had happened. I had put my heart and soul into that presentation and was personally hurt by the result.
Fortunately, and I suspect being totally familiar with these occurrences, my lecturer called me aside after the class to speak about the assessment and the reasons for the feedback that was given. I will never forget the words that she said that day and I have only recently acknowledged their significance, “It’s so important in life to be able to accept feedback when it is honestly and constructively given.”
Logically, this makes so much sense, so why is it that we have such a difficult time with feedback and why do we take it so personally.
Perhaps we’ve become accustomed to the negativity of past communications where feedback was used as a personal criticism; a suggestion that somehow what we were doing wasn’t good enough or that maybe we ourselves were not enough.
Perhaps anything less than perfection wasn’t acceptable, to ourselves or to others. If so much of ourselves and our energy has been invested in and attached to something we’ve created, hearing anything less than a satisfactory response may trigger inherent fears of inadequacy. Our wounded pride and ego encourage fight or flight. We stand firm and argue our point or withdraw into solitude, away from the thoughts and judgements of others.
Either way, we’ve missed an important opportunity for growth and self-reflection. Honest and constructive feedback is rarely given without the best of intentions and many a relationship has been tested when it isn’t received in this way.
Looking back to the interaction with my lecturer, I’m extremely grateful that she was so patient and understanding, that she took the time to explain her reasoning, only wanting the very best for me in the process.
This was definitely a time when I had allowed my emotions and insecurities to get the better of me and I regret not showing her the appreciation she deserved at the time.
I can’t go back and change what happened decades ago, but I can certainly be mindful of her words as they apply in my life today. I’m exceptionally thankful to have this knowledge and to now fully understand, accept and wholeheartedly embrace it.
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